my em0 side

the last post was 48 years ago!

2009-11-18T00:44:00.000-08:00

hehe just exaggerating...

anyway

for just a matter of 8 months, millions of events have occurred in my life...

well, most especially of my stupid love life...

tsk

the latter post hasn't been updated...

we BROKE UP...

but i don't mourn so much about it,

a minute of tears is already enough for me...

the former post about the girl in the church...

uhm a romantic story happened but ended disgustingly...

eheh

well, i was able to have a chance to court the girl...

oh no, this will be a long narration...

(the first events happened through text)

she was the first one to, somehow, "confess" to me that if

she was given the chance, she would LOVE me...

i asked why... she told me that if she would tell me her reason,

nothing will happen, "hanggang tinginan lang naman tayo eh..."

i then told her that if she would ask me the same, i too will say what she said...

she laughed and later called me her "langga"

to make this very long happening shorter...

we were able to went out,

i made her a specialized poem... which i planned to make a blog of poems...

she accepted it then she dumped me ....

WAAT???? haha

i thought i was nearing my aim...

to have 3? girlfriends ahaha ^_^

oh yeah, though she dumped me,

i still continued my "flirting" with her hehe

she reacts nicely as if she is VERY INTERESTED with me

but i'm cautious now, hehe

i keep myself checked, i wont be hurt twice with the same girl...

now, she gave me the STRONGEST reason why i should stop loving her..

her ex-boyfriend has been checking up on her and they're hanging out...

she posts her pictures on her facebook and on friendster...

i've also seen some of they're comment-chat on both sites..

though i am not jealous that they're hanging out, i don't own her anyway...

i still cant stand her LIES...

earlier in our chitchats,

she told me that she will do her studies first,

damn, is this the best line that girls choose so that guys wont get hurt?

damn what a lie...

ahaha

there are still other stories to tell but i need to cook rice now,

so til next time.. hehe

dodge

we came late because.... haha

2009-03-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

haha...
saturday, march 21, 2009
late celebration of charisse m.'s burtday...
i was there, my friends were there, my bestfriend was their, and saris of course haha
saris celebrated her burtday in Sta. Lucia Royale Cebu (village luyo ra sa amoa) sa pool didto
i planned this day to be the day that i'll court my bestfriend...
so, i kept on staying with her...
waiting for a chance to do my thing...

all of a sudden, a change in the story occured...
saris, freya, razzie, ug uban pa cant plunge theirselves in the pool kay kinahanglan mag sando or any swimwear...
so, kay duol ra man amo balay, they decided to borrow from my mother, i volunteered man sad,
i volunteered nga ako nalng mo uli kay para mag enjoy sad sila,,
then i asked my bestfriend to come with me...
she did come with me...
well, they teased us but i did not negotiate with it..

when we arrived home,
i was stunned to know my parents were out, only our helper is home,, and she's upstairs..
my bestfriend turned on the laptop and browsed the net,,,
i started to search for sandoes and shorts upstairs...
nya, nangawagtang man kaha ang mga inutaw,,
nangutana ko sa among helper she answere nga wa sya kahibaw pud,,
i just said nga ako lng tan awn sa silong,,,
pero actually, wa jud ko nangita sa silong...
i went straight to my bestfriend and hugged her,,,
we both felt MY HEARTBEAT.. we began to laugh,,,
i asked if she can be mine....

and the previous blog is the answer....

(continue reading)

she said: i'm already yours...

2009-03-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

world!
hear me!
it's my first time to clearly express my feelings for the girl i so much love...
and first time to have a girlfriend!
oh yes, definitely...
i want to shout for joy now...
and laugh and cry and sing HIS praises..

she gave her heart to me and i promised her,,
i wont give it up for any challenge...
she's my bestfriend... we know each other so well,,
i seem to be seeing the future that i will be meeting you in the church central isle

so in love with my bestfriend,
dodge

i fell in love with my bestfriend!

2009-03-19T07:24:00.000-07:00

yeah! i'm so much into her!

my bestfriend whom i shared almost all my secrets suddenly became the one the my heart is beating for right now!

i so much love her!

the feeling i have for her is different

so different because this time,,

i know she can be mine...

omg... haha ^_^

she made me do these things for the first time:

1. say i love you personally

2. hug a girl so tight with my heart beating so fast

3. chat with all afternoon though i'm not into chatting

4. i want to court her.. she'll be my first girl weeee...

that's all,...

nalanag sa gugma,

dodge

OMG

2009-03-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

nganu sad kaha nga sa kadaghan na niyag na uyab ug sa kadaghan na nga gi share sa akong bestrfriend nga iyang ganahan ni end up man hinuon nga ganahan na hinuon xa nako...

unsaonz,

dodge

maybe it's her!

2009-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

i saw her in the church during our First Friday Vigil...
i didn't expect a pretty gal to be there...
i noticed her when she was just sitting in the corner with her phone...
i looked at her for a matter of seconds...
she suddenly looked up and looked straight to my eyes...
it seemed to be a piercing arrow of cupid...
she smiled and because of this torpeness in me...
i looked down and sit down...
she was a choir member while i was the one operating the projector for the mass songs and readings...
time to time i started to look at her... and the same thing happened...
oh yeah... she was in pink jacket and she looks cool and cute with it...
the vigil was 8:00 pm to 4:00 am..
it was my first time to attend this vigil...
now, i have a second reason why i must attend the monthly vigil...
though it's tiring, her beauty is soothing...

wohoy!

naghun-huna ghapon niya,
-dodge

that was a stupid quarell...

2008-10-31T05:55:00.000-07:00

wew...
i had a one week cold war with a very close friend...
Ra and i always go home together this made us very close with each other...

some time before the second quarter ended...
she suddenly told me "ayaw na pagkig kuyog nako oi, pagkat.on sad ug uli ug ikaw ra..."
i told her in a joking manner "ngeee.. ako diay magkig dungan nimo???"
she kept on tellnig me those words for almost a week...
i already got pissed off with her but... she's my friend... i think she's just concerned with me... or what

october 20 was the deadline supposed to be for the submission of application forms for usc-tc
but it was extended till october 21 since most of the students don't have their 2x2 pics...

i went down with some friends to have our picture taken...
we just went to a nearby photo center...
we had our picture taken then we can claim it after 15 mins...
my friends asked me to claim their pics because they'll be going home nah...
i said yes and i ran back to school to get my bag and go home with Ra and Fr waiting for me upstairs...

when i got there.. it was almst 5 pm
i saw Ra, Fr with Hartel... they said we'll go nah coz it's almost 5...
i immediately agreed because i'll still go and get the pics...

we packed up and went down...
when we were nearing the gates they stopped and continued chatting...
i told them i'll go ahead na lng coz i'll still get the pics and i'll just ride "ibabao-lacion.."

Ra said, "ayaw lang magdungan tah... "
Hartel also insisted that we'll go home together...
i told Ra, "abi ko dili na ka ganahan magkuyog tah..."
Ra immediately took back everything she said, "oi! wa jud ko na ingon ana! kuyog ta ha!"
"ah! dali a naka bali ug storya oh!..."
Hartel said, "kuyog nlng gud tah pao..."

i cooled down... and said yes to her invitation...
she said we'll just meet at Julie's bakeshop... then i hurriedly went to the photo center...
it was just for a very short while because the pics were all done when i got there...

i immediately ran to our rendezvouz...
when i got there... tsk3.... they weren't there yet... and i really hate waiting...
i went back to school... when i reached the school.. they were stll there...
talking chatting blah blah...
out of my anger i shouted even though i was outside the gate... "pagklaro mo diha oi!!!"

i walked towards the church place... and was about to ride a "compre-lacion" jitney...
Hartel hurriedly shouted...
i waited for her and she kept on saying sorry and i told her i'm not angry with her...
Fr asked where i will be heading.. i told them, "going home"
Ra asked where... i didn't answer her coz i might say something wrong...

that night i talked with one of my closest girl friend...
i told her everything that happened and came up with a solution...
i was planning to "tagad" her on wednesday.. not on tuesday just to cool down everything...

october 21 afternoon... i went home immediately without even telling them that i'll be going ahead of them...
in a phone call, my friend told me nga gitabangan daw xa nila ni Fr and Ra with N...
she said that Ra was crying, Fr was was murmuring and N was just standing...

Fr and N stood their ground saying that it's my fault...
Fr instantly condemned me saying.. "ayaw pagsorry niya! iya man nang sala!"
that very moment, i decided that since they've judged me even without asking me what was the cause...

the room was very quite for half a week...
our barkada circle was divded into 3... MC ate alone... clueless of what's happening, Ze and I ate together with Hartel, N and Ra ate together, Fr with Harvey...
that was the setting of the classroom till monday...

Cl tried to reconcile both of us, but i guess it didn't work...
told her that if i'll be asking for Ra's forgiveness, it will just seem that i'm accepting their judgement...
i told Cl that if it wasn't for Fr's immediate reaction, we could have already cooled down...

the next day, unexpectedly, while i was slouching Fr approached and said that we need to talk...
she said sorry for reacting that way... "nahangin ra mn gud ko... sorry ha..."
i said nothing and smiled... and went back to sleep...

i planned to reconcile with Ra as soon as possible...
the next day Oct 28, Ra sent me a chocolate with a letter... letter of apology...

then on oct. 29, mdm Flo tld me that Ra and I need to reconcile...
then that's it... i approached her and told her what is needed to be told...

nanghayhay sa kakapoi,
dodge

once upon a time in my life....

2008-10-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

wahahah... ^_^ let me laugh first before i proceed...
during our P.E practical test...
the practical test was all about those dancing and stuff...
at first, our group, group 1, was assigned to dance the samba on October 10...
i had a mixed emotion i want to cry coz i don't know how to dance at the same time i want to be happy because Shawie was in our group...
Shawie picked me as her partner...
Zendy, Razzie, Ragner, Charmaine A., Nikki E., Josame, Shawie and I were in the same group...
October 6, Monday, our section watched the performance of section C...
after their performance, Mdm. Cumpio asked us if we are ready for our dances...
she even dared us to dance dirty dancing....
unpredictable was Shawie and Julie's answer...
they both said YES!!!!
waaaaaH!!! me??? gonna dance dirty? whaaaat????
Razzie's face cannot be drawn, she was bursting in laughter.... (as usual, her wahahah laugh)
Shawie asked us if we agree...
but none of us disagreed nor agree...
so it was decided ... we're goin to dance dirty...
October 9, we went to Sam's house to practice...
we stayed there until 9 in the evening...
we kept on practicing our dance steps with our music... "Touch my Body"
waaaaH! i really hate dancing and then i end up dancing a very flirtatous dance... >.<>.<>.<

i even promised to mself that i'm gonna do it only once in my lifetime...
suddenly, mdm cumpio announced that we will be dancing a dance related to it during our right of passage, the love dance!
nah ambot nlng jd tawn

wa nakarecover sa nahitabo,
dodge

n0thing's g0nna change my l0ve f0r y0u....

2008-09-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

oh yeah! i'll never forget september 11, 2008...
during our music period...
with mdm. querikiol...
around 10:20 am...
after a short quiz of 15 items...
my friend Ra saw one of our teacher's visual aid...
she shouted and raised it in front of the whole class...
she shouted..."Hala! Nothing's Gonna Change my Love For You!!!"
the class howled and started shouting my name...
and requesting a duet for N...
to cut a long story short...
ni barog nalang ko then she also did stand up...
then we start to sing the song... ^___^

hangtud karon wla karecover,

dodge

august 1 (first friday mass)

2008-08-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

during the first friday mass...
our barkada sat together except for Cl...
i sat beside N...
time-to-time, i leaned to her...
she didn't even react to it...
during 'The Our Father' ^_^ i got used to not holding hands anymore...
i didn't mind to hold her hand...
N suddenly grab my hand! *0h heaven!
we were holding hands...
i tightened the grip of her hand that as if i don't want to let it go again...

kakuyapon,
dodge

Ze's birthday (august1)

2008-08-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

our barkada stayed late last august 1, friday, because we still need to do some school stuffs...
we were in the auditorium then, together with the dance troupe who is also practicing for their presentation for the Buwan ng Wika...
our adviser told us that she'll give us 'balato' since it's Ze's b.day and we'll get it in the faculty office...
we went back to our classrooms to get our bags...
we decided not to get the money because we're 'shy' ^_^
we directly went downstairs...
our adviser saw us and called us to get the money...
we told her never mind...
it was so coincidental that the dance troupe was also dismissed, she told almost all of them to call us...
and when we were about to went out of the gate...
mostly of the dance troupe members overtaked us and told us to go to the faculty room because mdm called for us...
it so happened that only N and i was left inside the school grounds...
without any word, N decided to go up... i hesitated to follow her...
but i did follow her...
she walked so fast that i only got up to her when we were up in the faculty room...
N called for mdm...
i told her, 'wla pa xa?'
she replied, 'nah, naglangay-langay jd xa...'
i was then leaning towards the steel handrailings...
she was near the room of the faculty room...
usually, she avoids being with me coz of the teases and anything... ^_^
but this time, it was her who approached me...
she actually stood beside me!! *0h heaven!
she asked me if we could bring cellphone the next day coz we'll be having our NCAE review...
i told her 'magda sa diay kuno ka?'
she replied 'o kay mgpractice pa raba tah nig human...'
we continued talking...
mdm came out and she smiled at me coz she knows about me and N (pero di mi uyab ha)
she gave us Php130.00...
we smiled at each other...
we went down together, i asked her where we will eat...
she replied with laughter in her voice...
she said 'ikaw asa mn tah...'
i told her, 'julie's nlng tah nah...'
we went down faster...
and that's it...
our whole barkada went out to eat... ^_^
... ^_^

feeling heaven,
dodge

the best dream that i wished it all come true!

2008-08-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

i was all alone standing near a very clear lake when BB came along with his emo friends...
i was stunned at BB's voice because it's already so boyish ^_^ he asked me if i'm not busy coz we'll go to a party, i answered no. we walked and walked then we met our friends back in high school, Fr, Cl, Ze, Ra, N, and HG. BB's emo friends went out of the scene (what a dream! *_*) then they asked both of us if we are not busy coz they're going to a big celebration, we decided to come with them (HG went out of the scene*_*) then, we were all walking in a narrow hallway with a paint of brown. i talked to Cl, N interfered with our conversation. she held my hand and boast it off to the whole gang. i tighten the grip of her hand^_^. then we continued walking holding each others hand. our friends kept on teasing us. i placed my hands on's hips. we reached an elevator. all of them ran to the elevator. then Cl shouted at both of us coz we walked so slow. she said "pagdali mo oy kay amo na ni i close ang elevator!" N turned my whole body and she let me face her, she hugged me and said "i love you" then Cl shouted again, i kissed her hair and we went into the elevator. we were really close to each other in the elevator. when we reached the next floor, Ra said, "tara na!" N asked "can we stay a little bit longer?" she then hugged me tighter. Ra teased us saying, "byai nana cla diha oy, uyab na bitw na cla" they all laughed. N cuddled me. we both went out. then again i placed my hands on her hips. i turned her whole body to face me. i looked her straight into her eyes, she smiled. i was nearing to kiss her when sudddenly BB shouted HG is there!!!! BB and i ran towards the door of the elevator to block him. then HG just kicked the door and off we go!!! (end of my sweet dream xd)

july 26, 2008

2008-08-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

i dreamt of her again,
i saw her sitting on (uhm, to be exact she was leaning to her right, nagtukod xa bah)
her face was so tiresome. i approached her,
i asked her if she's fine
she didn't saiy a word, instead she just smiled at me.
i aided her to stand up,
i held her hand, then with sooo much affection i kissed her hands.
i told her "i love you"
she again smiled and just said "let's go!"
i hugged her, and we both ran,
suddenly a girl called my name,
i looked back to see who called and i saw no one,
not even n_ _ _
then my dream ended... i woke up

soulmate?

2008-07-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

is it just a coincidence
that we both love blue?
that we both love 14?
i love 14 coz it's my birthdate...
she loves 14 coz 14 is N as in count it (A is 1, B is 2 so on)
i didn't noticed that... ^_^

are we just soulmates or am i just so much into her that i think that we're soulmates?
i wanna tell her ASAP how i feel for her and how i long for her....
now that i know that she hates torpe and she wants me, according to my friend, to tell her how i feel for her or else her feelings for me will totally be gone T.T
help!!!

nalanag sa iyang panagway,
dodge

i regret this! T.T

2008-07-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

i regret one thing now...

i was all along loving her in silence...

not knowing that she was also waiting for me to make a move in silence!

what!!! (i just found out from a friend)

why???

tsk tsk tsk...

all these years i was just only waiting for myself to move instead of me waiting for her!

T.T

i have also heard that she was only waiting for this "torpe guy" to make a move!

(and who else is torpe in her life?!)]

accdg also to my friend... _ told her that she doesn't want someone loving her without her knowing it...

she wants the guy to tell her... or somehow like that...

she doesn't want nga ako ako ray magkumkum sa akong gi bati...

unya feedbacks ra iya mareceive... in.ana daw T.T

danghaga jd nako oy! hmmmmmmm.............

hello rodmarc????

are you there????

she's waiting for you duh! make a move!

super lame me!

2008-04-25T02:25:00.000-07:00

introducing to you the latest super hero....
"super lame man" that's me!
wohoa, nice i'm super lame damn it!
why don't i have the courage to court her?
i love her soooo much but, why?!
i totally chill to the bones everytime we're together...
i freeze to the core that i can't even say a word to her
damn it!
i need to court her to end this big unsolved mystery...
the mystery if she feels the same way towards me...

there are sooo many questions
but only one girl knows the answer...
it's her...
there are only two answers to this mystery either yes or no...
but why can't i confront her and ask her?!
asking a question is much easier than answering it di ba?

lame! lame! lame!

hahayz,

dodge

last night...

2008-04-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

my crush and i was on top of a high mountain...
we were sitting together on the green ground...
i held her little soft hand with my both hands towards my chest...
i placed her hand near my heart to let her fell my heartbeat...
i looked at her smiling, she smiled...
i touched her face with my hand...
she smiled, and i noticed the moon rising...
i laid down on her leg looking at the night sky...
then all of the sudden...
i woke up...
damn!
it was a dream...
i hate this thing, duh!

nagdamgo hangtud karon,

dodge

sleepless dawn

2008-03-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

it was around 1 o'clock this dawn...
i started to wake up because of my weird dreams...
i think i was haunted by my heart since i said that I'll court her yesterday...
but i failed to because my being "torpe" dominated once again...
T.T
i woke up then slept again...
around 2 o'clock, i woke up again...
i slept then dreamt another weird dream...
around 3 o'clock i woke up...
i didn't sleep till 4 o'clock..
i just kept writing her name in one notebook...
until i finally yawned then i went to sleep...

then i dreamt the weirdest dream of the all the dreams i dreamt in that dawn...
i saw her all alone standing near a cliff,
i wanna go near her but i can't move...
then i saw people coming from different directions approaching her...
then they carried her away...
i did nothing then i woke up...
i went back to sleep...
i dreamt again...

this time the setting was in IPI...
i saw her with Clare Galon...
then i was standing near them in the poolside...
Clare then left the two of us alone then the next thing i noticed was...
she was sitting next to me... i trembled in my dream (ngek)
i tried to talk but my mouth won't open...
then she left without a word...
she left behind a folder...
she wrote their:
"please keep all my confessions ..."
the letter was long but i can only recall that part...

i really am depressed why i didn't make a move...
such a an _____ T.T

Na alimongawan sa silingan,

Dodge

2008-03-24T17:06:00.000-07:00

yesterday, patrice had her despedida party in IPI
it was a very tiring day...
i was suuuuuper tired!
but it was really worth it...
swimming, swimming and EATING yehey!
the pool ranged from 5ft to 8ft
even though i don't swim...
i really swam since it might be our last outing with patrice T.T
..........
until now, sakit gihapon akong mga mata ambot ug ngano mata...
ouchie.........

Nagluhaluha ang mata,

Dodge

a poem for her...

2008-03-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

You're my Only Girl

Your name is sounding in my heart,

My heart is craving for you.

I want to be your life's part,

Permit me to stay with you.

I can't help myself from loving,

Your charm is hard to resist.

I want to express this intense feeling,

I'll never stop even how much you insist.

Moments with you are so memorable.

My love for you I can't control anymore.

Love is really unpredictable.

We don't know what the future has stored.

You're the only girl that I love this much,

I can't give any girl this love so much..........

really depressed...

2008-03-18T21:27:00.000-07:00

some of my friends told me to stop tailing on that girl...
"move on ra gud... she doesn't have feelings for you anymore..."
i told them, "how i wish i can do it that easy"
others told me that if i really love her, fight for your love!
there was even one friend who told me that if I'm really serious for that girl then tell tell her that...
i told my friend that I'm really serious with her...

is our feelings for each others mutual?
i don't know... she told me that she has feelings for me but that was before...
ouch! how i wish i made my move before, she could be with me right now...
i told myself that maybe I'm just hallucinating that i'm the one she's now loving...

yeah i know i let my mind dominate me for all those years...
they said that i lost my brain because of love but now i lost my love because of my brain...

Nalibog sa gugma,

Dodge

my first bLog!

2008-03-17T06:18:00.001-07:00

you may think i'm the kind of person who just sit in the corner with my reading materials, rosaries or sometimes talking, teasing, and laughing...

well think again, you're just seeing the cover of my life's real emotion...

i tell you, i may not look like one but honestly if not with my friends to laugh with, i think i'm so much more than an emo kind of guy...

you may seem think i'm always happy... think once more... i'm not showing the world how i really feel...

that's one of my weakness... i can't express my feelings right... especially to that girl whom i have given my whole heart yet doesn't even care...

i want to move on yet i can't easily tell that to myself coz i'm truly into her...

Nabuang sa gugma,

Dodge

my em0 side

the last post was 48 years ago!

we came late because.... haha

she said: i'm already yours...

i fell in love with my bestfriend!

OMG

maybe it's her!

that was a stupid quarell...

once upon a time in my life....

n0thing's g0nna change my l0ve f0r y0u....

august 1 (first friday mass)

Ze's birthday (august1)

the best dream that i wished it all come true!

july 26, 2008

soulmate?

i regret this! T.T

super lame me!

last night...

sleepless *dawn*

a poem for her...

really depressed...

my first bLog!

sleepless dawn